


It's Okay to Break

by dreaming_wide_awake



Series: Prompts [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-15
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-05-20 20:07:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6023043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreaming_wide_awake/pseuds/dreaming_wide_awake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: if you're still taking prompts i have one for you. .Ontari kills the Nightbloods and Lexa and Clarke arrive back in Polis to a scene of utter devastation. Aden is still clinging on to life when they get there but he dies in Lexa's arms. Thanks.</p><p>or</p><p>Everyone has a breaking point, Lexa reaches hers.</p><p>or</p><p>My tumblr followers are even more evil than I am. This one is going to hurt. Lexa is going to break, but Clarke is there to catch her as she falls.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Okay to Break

**Author's Note:**

> Another prompt filled. This one hurt to write. Drop me a comment if you can, just let me know what you think.

 

The journey back to Polis had been a quiet one, neither Clarke nor Lexa knew what to say to each other. They had spent the previous few days near Arkadia, Clarke trying to stop yet another war. The blonde felt physically and emotionally drained after the whole thing. She obviously knew there was only so much Lexa could do, there was no way she could pretend it didn’t happen, 300 of her people had been killed. The Trikru warriors who had been sent to Arkadia to protect the Skaikru from any attack from the Azgeda, all slaughtered in cold blood, Lexa could not just act like it hadn’t happened. As leader of the coalition they were all her people, but the Trikru were her clan, which made it even more personal for the young Commander. Lexa had pledged her fealty to Clarke, got down on her knees and swore to the blonde that she would treat her needs as her own, and Clarke’s people as her people.

The internal conflict had been unbearable for Lexa, but thankfully Clarke understood. The actions of a limited number of Skaikru had been an act of war, and Lexa had to act accordingly. An agreement had been reached, those who were directly responsible had been punished as Grounder law dictated. The only one who had escaped that punishment was Bellamy, instead he was imprisoned in Arkadia, Lexa allowing the Council of the Skaikru to decide his fate. If it had been anyone else he would have died like the rest, but his death would have pushed Clarke further over the edge, so against her better judgement Lexa had decided to be lenient.

As soon as they re-entered Polis, one of the city guards informed Lexa that something had happened, he wouldn’t say what, just that she needed to get to the tower. Titus would be waiting there for her. There was something in the atmosphere at the tower which immediately set Lexa on edge. As she passed, people lowered their heads, refusing to meet her eyes, which in itself wasn’t a completely alien thing, but when she returned from trips outside the city walls, most would normally welcome her back.

The journey up to the top of the tower in the elevator seemed to be taking longer than it normally would.

“What’s going on?” Clarke asked from where she was stood near Lexa.

“I don’t know…” Lexa replied.

The elevator finally reached its destination, as Lexa and Clarke exited they were met by Titus. Behind him in Lexa’s throne room there was a lot of activity. Both Clarke and Lexa were trying to see what was going on, but Titus closed the door before either of them could properly see.

“There was an attack, Heda.” He said quietly.

“An attack?” Lexa replied, “what do you mean?”

“In the early hours of this morning, a small group entered the city through the tunnels,” Titus said looking between Clarke and Lexa, “they made their way, unseen, up the elevator shaft…”

“Step aside, Titus.” Lexa said.

“Heda…” he said, before his voice softened a little, “Lexa, you do not want to see this.”

“I said step aside.” Lexa replied.

Titus looked to Clarke, who was clearly as confused as Lexa was about this whole thing. Clarke could see the pleading look in his eyes, it was the same look she had seen when he had said that she may have been able to talk Lexa out of fighting Roan.

“I will not ask again.” Lexa said.

Titus lowered his head a little and stepped away from the door. Lexa walked forwards and opened both of the doors. At the sight that met her she brought her hand up to her mouth as her stomach turned. Black blood was splattered on the chairs of the ambassadors, the floor seemed to be coated in the blood, 12 small bodies laid scattered around the room. Clarke stepped into the room behind Lexa, her stomach dropped as she looked around. Lexa slowly stepped forwards, deeper into the room, not trusting her legs to carry her.

Clarke looked at Titus, his emotions were plain to see on his face.

“How did this happen?” Clarke asked him.

“I do not know.” He replied.

“Surely security should have been increased after what happened at the ceremony,” Clarke said, “you knew that the tunnels were a weak spot, why wasn’t that dealt with?”

“It was,” he said, “but with Heda out of the city…”

“That shouldn’t have mattered,” the blonde replied, her voice betraying her anger, “just because Lexa was out of the city doesn’t mean that these children shouldn’t have had some kind of protection.”

“With all due respect, Wanheda…” he started to say.

“Don’t.” Clarke said coldly.

They both dropped into silence as Lexa made her way from body to body. There were others still in the room, Clarke assumed they were healers, probably the best in Polis. A cough caught everyone’s attention.

“Aden…” Lexa breathed as she rushed over to the small boy.

She dropped to her knees next to him, not caring about the blood that was currently soaking into the pants she was wearing. Healers were trying to slow the bleeding, but Lexa could tell by looking at Aden that it wasn’t going to help.

“We tried… Heda…” he said.

There was blood coming from a deep wound to the boys neck, Lexa could see other wounds that littered his small body. Just like with the other Nightblood’s she saw wounds that could not have been caused with swords.

“You did well, Aden…” Lexa said, fighting the tears that were currently burning her eyes as she smiled softly at the young boy, “you did well…”

She softly brushed her fingers through his hair as he coughed again, blood coming from his mouth. Lexa looked at the healers, both were avoiding her eyes.

“You fought well…” she said with a nod.

“I am sorry, Heda.” He replied as he struggled to breathe through the blood that was in his airway.

Clarke moved up behind Lexa, knowing that the brunette was obviously struggling holding herself together.

“We failed… you.” Aden said.

“No,” Lexa replied shaking her head a little, “you didn’t. You made me proud…”

With one last stuttering breath, Aden looked up at Lexa.

“Yu gonplei ste odon…” Lexa said quietly.

The healers stood up and stepped away from Aden, looking at Titus who nodded a little, they turned and walked from the room. Lexa’s jaw started to tremble as her breathing started coming in short sharp breaths. Clarke moved closer to her, tears now falling from her eyes. Titus wrapped his arm around Clarke’s shoulder as Lexa stared wide-eyed at Aden’s body. Titus moved Clarke away from the Commander.

They both stood in silence as Lexa stood up and rushed over to the side of the room where she dropped to her knees and vomited, losing everything that she had eaten that day.

“Lexa…” Clarke said quietly.

“She needs time.” Titus said to the blonde.

Lexa rose to her feet, resting one hand on the wall close to her, she wiped her mouth with the back of her other hand. Her head lowered, she attempted to control her breathing. Fighting off the emotions that were currently flowing through her.

“I want to know who is responsible for this,” she said, not looking back at Titus or Clarke, “I want them brought here. They will suffer for this.”

She pushed herself away from the wall, moving as quickly as she could she walked towards the doors of the room. Clarke tried to follow but Lexa stopped walking.

“Do not follow me,” she said, not looking at the blonde, “I need to be alone.”

Clarke and Titus remained in the room as Lexa left, the two guards who were standing outside the room following her at a distance.

“Do you have any idea who did this?” Clarke asked as she looked at Titus.

“Azgeda, loyal to Queen Nia.” He replied, “they managed to escape the tower before we could catch them.”

Clarke noticed something from where she was standing, something that Lexa herself had seen.

“Not all these wounds were made by your weapons,” the blonde said, crouching down next to the closest Nightblood to her, “these are bullet wounds… our weapons…”

“It was not your people who did this, Wanheda.” He said, “we did stop one man before he could leave. We believe he is a survivor from the Mountain.”

“There were no survivors, I killed them all…” Clarke said as she stood up and looked at him, “take me to him.”

“I don’t think…” Titus started to say.

“Now.” The blonde said.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Clarke knew that it wasn’t up to her to make Emerson pay for what he had done, she wasn’t in a position to decide what his fate should be, that was up to Lexa. She stood in the hallway near the Commanders bedroom, there were two guards standing outside the door, as there always was. Clarke could hear things being thrown within Lexa’s room. Glass smashing from walls, wood shattering as it met concrete. She had never known Lexa to lose control, never known her to get angry and lash out as she now so obviously was. Lexa could always keep it together, no matter what she was faced with.

Clarke had heard from Titus that though training of the previous Nightbloods was occasionally watched over by the current Heda, they had never been actively involved in the training. Lexa was different. She had involved herself in their training, she had watched as those children grew from the small stumbling kids they had been when they first arrived in Polis, to the young warriors they became. Clarke knew that Lexa felt the loss of every one of her people, but nothing had hit the Commander like this before. She had lost Costia, Anya, Gustus, and had kept it together, been the strong force that she was expected to be, but everyone had their breaking point.

“Why don’t you two take a walk…” Clarke said, looking between the two guards.

Another loud crash came from the room as the guards looked at each other, they nodded once to Clarke before walking away from their posts. They didn’t go very far, waiting at the end of the hallway. The blonde knocked on the door of Lexa’s room. Getting no reply, she slowly opened the door.

“Lexa…” Clarke said as she stepped into the dark room.

She could see the other girl standing near the window, her head bowed as she gripped her hands on the back of a chair which was in front of her. Clarke slowly walked towards her.

“Lexa…” she said.

“I should have protected them,” Lexa said, not looking at the blonde, “they were brought to this city to be trained under the Commanders protection, it’s supposed to be an honor, a safe place. I was supposed to protect them and now they’re all dead.”

The last word was marked by Lexa picking up the wooden chair and throwing at the wall, Clarke stepped back a little as the wood splintered and broke before hitting the floor.

“This isn’t your fault, Lexa.” She said calmly.

“Who else is to blame if I am not?” Lexa asked, anger clearly tainting her voice, as she turned to look at Clarke, “I failed, Clarke…”

“This isn’t your fault.” Clarke repeated.

“I should’ve been here.” Lexa said, her anger starting to give way to another emotion, the pain she was in was clearly written on her face, “I should’ve…”

Clarke stepped closer to Lexa, it was obvious to the brunette what was about to happen.

“Don’t…” she said as she stepped back away from Clarke, she knew if she was to find comfort in Clarke’s arms, even just for a moment, she would breakdown completely.

“You’re allowed to feel pain, Lexa.” Clarke said softly, closing the distance between them.

As she wrapped her arms around the other girl, she could feel Lexa tense up, her breathing changing as she fought to control her emotions. Clarke didn’t back away, she just tightened her arms around the brunette.

“It’s okay, Lexa,” Clarke said quietly, “it’s just me… you don’t need to hide this away, it’s okay…”

Clarke closed her eyes as she felt Lexa’s arms come up around her back, as the first of the Commanders tears soaked through the shirt she was wearing.

“It’s okay, Lexa…” the blonde said as she tried to calm the other girl, “it’ll be okay…”

“I couldn’t protect them…” Lexa sobbed as she buried her face in the crook of Clarke’s neck.

 

x-x-x-x-x

 

Clarke wasn’t sure how much time as passed as she sat on Lexa’s bed, her back rested against the ornate headboard as she ran her fingers through Lexa’s hair, the brunette’s head on her legs as her arm was wrapped around Clarke’s waist.

The door to the room opened slowly and Titus walked in. They shared a soft smile as he looked at Lexa.

“How is she?” he asked quietly.

“Human…” Clarke said with a nod as she looked down at Lexa’s sleeping form.

“The scouts have been sent out to find Ontari and her small group of warriors.” Titus replied.

“Let me know when they get back.” The blonde said, earning herself a small nod from Titus before he turned and left the room again, closing the door quietly behind him.

Clarke took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Though Lexa had always been pretty open with her, she knew that when morning came it would as though this night had never happened. Lexa would be back hiding behind the walls that she’d had to build when she became Commander. Blood would have blood, Clarke just hoped that it wouldn’t completely destroy the girl who had stolen her heart.

**Author's Note:**

> If you've got a prompt for me you can find me on tumblr @ unaligned-valkyrie


End file.
